Daddy Mojo

 In an alternate universe Disney PIXAR hasn’t made it acceptable, nay, enviable for an animated feature to be accepted as high entertainment for the entire family. Back then times were simpler, toys were toys and not used as characters to make us ugly cry in movie theaters in front of our children who aren’t sure why we’re crying during a film about toys. In that universe, The Secret Life of Pets 2 is high craft and the sort of entertainment that kids and adults will equally enjoy. Alas, in this universe, The Secret Life of Pets 2 is the sort of kid-only entertainment that those in elementary school will enjoy to ridiculous levels.

Were it not for the presence of Rooster, voiced by Harrison Ford, as the cranky, old time dog who lives on the farm the film would’ve felt like a direct-to-DVD release. It’s not that Ford is entirely the Dwayne Johnson of this film. It’s that the character he portrays is a needed counter balance to the rest of the characters.

The Secret Life of Pets 2 is a hodgepodge of a movie that has three loosely connected plots that eventually come together. Older audiences or those that saw the first one will recognize the format and outlay of how the different ones are constructed and can already place how they’ll come together. At times the film felt like a series of sketches, more akin to a Saturday Night Live five-minute bit, than a feature length film and the three story vignette set up doesn’t help this vibe.

There is the dog trying to learn to be a cat. The dogs that are riding in the car. The humorous Captain Snowball kind of breaks free from this mini-story feeling, but only for a minute.  It’s almost like they had the joke of something happening and then wrote the story around each bit.  Also, ‘feature length film’, is a bit of a stretch for The Secret Life of Pets 2 as it only clocks in at one hour and twenty six minutes. We have a rule of thumb that if a movie can’t hang in there for 90 minutes and be entertaining then it’s not worth being made. To that end, this film utterly fails our test.

As disappointed as we were with the film, our kids, aged 9 and 7 did like it. They liked Captain Snowball, enjoyed the action sequences and laughed at the parts that they should’ve laughed at-that were all shown in one of the trailers that have been released.

Parents: it’s OK. You don’t have to enjoy every film that your children like. My parents sure didn’t like The Apple Dumpling Gang, but I did and that’s OK.  However, the later didn’t cost $80 million to produce. And, The Apple Dumpling Gang has earned $37 million since its 1975 release. Let’s presume that it had a $3 million production cost (which is impossibly high) and that film still has yielded an amazing amount of return. The Secret Life of Pets 2 will not see that amount of return as a percentage or in actual profits, in 35 years.

It’s also worth noting that producers couldn’t have kept Louis C.K as the voice of Max due to the pressure that they would’ve faced. However, Patton Oswalt has a needier, more dependent characteristic about his performance that was immediately noticed by me and other adults. Louis C.K’s version was smarmy and lovable, where as Oswalt’s was more apt to whine and be annoying.

Some audience members will identify with the independence and lessons that are taught in the film. We saw them, but they were all encompassed by Rooster, who did so with fewer words and more humor. The Secret Life of Pets 2 is great for kids, but those over 12 will want to wait until they can stream it.

Cheese and entertainment can be kindred spirits. When combined at the right percentages magical entertainment can be had. Summer has the potential for high quality cheese, or popcorn fare that manage to entertain audiences at some level for two hours. Godzilla: King of the Monsters manages to achieve levels of varying entertainment in the latest incarnation of one of Japan’s most famous exports.

What it gets right

It quickly establishes that these events happen after 2014’s 30^th anniversary film, with a pair of scientists who are either vengeful or concerned for humanities existence. They’ve developed a machine that might have the ability to speak to the monsters, but do they really know what their machine is telling them? 

The two scientists are credible and not annoying, with the later being a major thing that some disaster/monster get wrong, much like the balance of cheese and entertainment.

If you want monsters you got em

When you see a Godzilla film you expect monsters and Godzilla: King of the Monsters gets the monster pacing down perfectly. After the requisite establishment of why the scientists are doing what they’re doing it’s all monsters all the time, until the humans get in the way.

We quickly get to see Rodan, Gidorah and the big lizard himself very quickly. There are some nice monster battle sequences and the audience that I saw the movie with responded in kind with cheers and claps when Godzilla initially appeared on screen and when he came to rally the troops on subsequent occasions.

The monsters, the cities that they demolish, swim through, set on fire or explode are well executed and make older Godzilla fans easily forget about the cheesy sets that became the hallmark of earlier films.

Bradley Whitford as Dr. Stanton, along with Thomas Middeletch as Sam Coleman were standout actors in their roles. They had enough depth to let us know why they were there, in addition to providing most of film’s lighter or humorous moments.

What it gets wrong

At times the balance of cheese to entertainment is perfect, while at other times it way off balance. Unfortunately most of those times are with Millie Bobby Brown, who is the daughter of said aforementioned scientists. Her part in the movie is weakly flushed out, yet is so heavily depended on for most of the dramatic shift point that it all but stops the film when she enters the screen. It’s not her fault and she’s built up lots of audience good will due to Stranger Things, but this is not the feature film breakthrough that she’s looking for.

The mythos of Godzilla knows who it’s trying to win over and what it’s trying to accomplish. Alas, in this new age of comedy/monster/science-fiction/Universe building film it’s gotten confusing. Is Godzilla an anti-hero of the nuclear age? A hero against people inadvertently helping the bad kaiju? The film tries to throw a curve ball into the mix with an ‘eco-terrorist’ who is set upon setting humanity back the blah, blah, shut up and let the monster fight. That is exactly what you’ll be thinking.

If I hear one more Skull Island reference…..

The first Skull Island (See also: King Kong) reference was cool. The second one was over. By the time the end credits rolled and we see cave images-and about 20 (no exaggeration here) more references to Kong, we get it. There will be a sequel and more monster universe building.

The Bottom Line

It’s mildly entertaining, but we wanted more. If the film had taken a chance and spent more time on the script then audiences would’ve thanked it more. The film also would’ve gotten more cash, earned more goodwill towards Godzilla vs. Kong and been able to push this universe forward. Instead, you’ve got a lukewarm film that will please audiences, but will require much more to push them towards this universe building scheme that they’ve planned.