Parenting | Page 26 of 27

Fringe Pets

When I was a child the only pets I had were a pair of hamsters, two rabbits and a crow.

I don’t have many memories of the hamsters. Actually I do have one memory of the hamsters. I went down into the basement and one of them had eaten the other one. Immediately I called out to my older sister, “Jenny, come quickly (insert hamster name here) is dead and (insert other hamster name here) has just killed him!!” It was a hamster homicide in the Burley Basement, film at 11. Continue reading Fringe Pets

My sons’ seahorse loves John McClane

Baby Mojo sized up in clothing recently and I was culling all of small stuff into a pile that is bound for the attic. While I was doing this I found a toy still in its packaging from when we received it at as a gift. It’s a seahorse looking creature that has a pulsing light and plays nursery rhymes or classical music when you push its belly.

I thought nothing of it until later that afternoon when we were upstairs and he was in the middle of a mini meltdown during a diaper change. The seahorse was the only thing within reach so I ripped off the packaging, placed it on his chest and pushed its’ belly to make the music start.

“Oh, cool, it’s playing the music from Die Hard “ I immediately thought. Continue reading My sons’ seahorse loves John McClane

“Do you get tired during the week?”

As previously mentioned in my ramblings, I’m a stay at home dad and care for Jake during the week. On the weekends Mom steps in so I can read comics, nap, climb trees and do other guy type activities.

One Saturday I passed Mom in the kitchen while Jake was rolling around on the floor.

“Do you get tired during the week?”, she asked.

“Yes, I’m exhausted during the week and it’s all because of this energy sponge, just sucking our lifeforce”, I said. I knew that she was joking because she was getting beat down by the 29 week old screamapillar that I see during the week. It’s ironic, that the reason for the daddy blog is often the reason that I can’t work or create things for the daddy blog.

However, my off comment about the lifeforce being sucked out of me triggered a memory about a movie that I used to love as a kid.

Ask yourself, what if Species were filmed 12 years earlier, Continue reading “Do you get tired during the week?”

Mother’s Day Weekend Mojo

I’m reminded of two things this Mother’s Day Weekend. It’s our first year with a baby, so I’m thinking of my wife and I’m also thinking about my mother.

About four months ago my wife was at home taking care of Jake. It was bath time, he had just gotten in the tub then started to scream and cry. The water wasn’t too hot, she did the checklist and he was still crying. For just a moment she doubted herself, probably asking if she was a good parent, did Jake love her?

Then she realized that Jake didn’t have his rubber duck in the tub. Sure enough, once the rubber duck was in the tub Jake immediately quieted down, happily sucking on the duck and spashing his hands in the water.

It won’t always be a rubber duck that makes Jake happy, but more often then not, it will be his mother.

I’m also reminded of my own mother who passed away a year and a half ago. She never touched Wilson, (our golden retreiver), hated going out to eat, never went for a trip in an airplane, loved to make chocolate cookies, watched Wheel of Fortune daily and always wanted to be needed. I never really thanked her enough for being a good parent.

So thanks to all the Mothers, past, present and future. For Mother’s Day we’re heading out to a local nursery that is giving horse carriage rides. It’ll be a nice, low key day for everybody to enjoy spring, babies, dads and moms.

The Worm on the floor

Jake, aka, Baby Mojo is right on the cusp of crawling; it’s a time that we’re simultaneously looking forward to and dreading. The Mojo camp is of three thoughts:

The crawling will be supa cute
The crawling baby will mean more work
We need to gird our loins because parenting is about to change.

Watching Baby Mojo writhe about on the floor made me think of a time back in high school. As with any journey, there are a couple stops, but I invite you to stay with me as it’ll take you in the way back machine as well.

The Setup

I spent the night at a friend’s house and his parents weren’t home. Stories that have a happy ending rarely start out like that, do they? We drank a little bit, but not enough to send anybody to the hospital or cause permanent damage. It was a handful of idiot teenagers doing the typical things that they’ll do when not properly supervised at an overnight party.

The next morning the story was that I had gotten too much of the sauce and flashed my naked Mojo to a couple of the girls at the party. The girls, seemingly unimpressed with my Mojo proceeded to laugh and call me PeeWee.

Of course that entire story was false and made up by a couple of my friends. However, as high schools operate, by 9:00 Monday, the (false) story of me flashing a couple of girls at a party was far and wide.

The Plan

High school is a petri dish for society isn’t it? It’s like your work environment without all social rules of behavior; you can say or do anything and it can do nothing or devastate you-all depending upon how you react.

My initial reaction to this story, and the suddenly bequeathed nickname of “PeeWee” was to laugh, deny and ignore, because it in fact did not happen. That was until one of the teachers made reference to the new nickname and then I knew something had to be done.

The high school elections were just around the corner and I had a plan. As PeeWee rhymed with V.P. (Vice President) I would run for Vice President of the Junior Class. It’s amazing how simple phonetics can help create a plan isn’t it?

The Execution

I registered my name, as well as, the newly ascribed nickname of “PeeWee” on the ballot for the Junior Class Vice President of Page High School, 1985. The campaign speeches to the class was something that were the culmination of the elecion season. They consisted of a brief introduction by somebody of your choosing then you’d go on to speak for a couple of minutes.

The person who did my introduction speech was one of the school’s break dancers named D.C. The schtick was for us to give each other a high five, then we’d each do the worm on the floor-with him going off stage and me going to the podium to give my speech as to why the students should vote for me PeeWee….errr, Trey.

So D.C was giving his brief introduction on stage and as he finished I approached the podium. We gave each other a high five and then each of us fell to the floor, wormed for a couple of yards and then stood up. He continued to walk off stage and I walked up to the podium and gave a two-minute speech about why I was deserving of their vote.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY-Y4mUKFN0]My crap dancing notwithstanding, I was elected Vice President of the Junior Class and that nickname slipped into the abyss of the school’s (and my) memory, until I saw Baby Mojo doing The (reverse) Worm.

Being a stay at home dad has triggered these old and forgotten memories lately. My wife has often been perplexed as to why I don’t remember anything from my childhood. The good news for her is that I’m remembering them and have something of substance to share during dinner. For me the good news is that video of that speech, The Worm or my Don Johnson Miami Vice jacket don’t exist.

Living with David Banner

The hospital where Baby Mojo was born sends weekly emails telling us what they should be experiencing. The one last week was spot on as it said something like “your baby may cry suddenly, with their face turning red”.

The Hulk — Baby Mojo, with a shade of green

Sure enough, not long after receiving that email our happy little Mojo would go from zero to 60 at the drop of a hat. He’d be happily playing with his favorite toy and then become a red-faced angry soul that can’t contain his rage. This red-faced hulk in diapers can only be satisfied by a quick and ironic version of “If you’re happy and you know it”.

After a day of watching Baby Hulk it appears that the culprit is the Vegetable Roast Beef & Dumplings. Today we had to finish that jar, however knowing what was observed, it was immediately followed up with some Hawaiian Blend, his favorite.

Crisis averted, it appeared that the gamma have been turned off.

Feeding Baby Mojo and watch him change from normal to freak out, a la, David Banner, made me think of second tier super heros, i.e, She Hulk. She’s like The Incredible Hulk, but svelte, ass kicking and has an oddly attractive aurora about her. Granted, she was no Catwoman, but She Hulk served the Marvel Universe well.

All of these thoughts brought about an odd dream. I was on an alien planet fighting in this battle, I broke through this wall and rescued the Martian Manhunter. Apparently he and I were friends as we continued fighting until I heard this beeping sound, turned to the rocks hit something then my alarm went off. So somewhere in my dreams the Martian Manhunter is super pissed at me for leaving him to go change a diaper at 3:30. I’m just glad that when I went to change the diaper some silly, yet very catchy song from Sesame Street was in my head.

Red faced baby — The rarely photographed, Red Baby Hulk, be careful if approaching.

I had another great dream this week. I was drafted to play in the Costa Rican Football League. All of our games were played on the beach and in addition to paying us a salary they served beer, pizza and ice cream during the games. We were in the middle of a game and the ref blew the whistle to go to the sidelines to get pizza, beer and ice cream, but I went to Baby Mojo’s room to change a diaper instead.

Somewhere in my dreams the Martian Manhunter is playing in the Costa Rican Football League, drinking my beer and dating She Hulk.

The darkside of children's music

The folks at Sesame Street have figured out how to auditize crack and they’re selling it on Sesame Street Platinum Too. It’s a disc full of songs that you remember from Sesame Street, as well as, a couple newer ones that will age very nicely.

Baby Mojo loves them-All of them. The songs are different from The Wheels on the Bus or other standards we may sing, because they’re like little musical skits. They tell stories, have characters that we remember or are just so darn catchy that we as parents can’t ignore them.

The darkside is that I find myself stuck on at least one of these songs every couple of days. That particular song will remain in my head all day and into the night. When I wake up to change Baby Mojo’s diaper at 3:00 AM, that song is still in my head like a sentinel waiting to wish me a good night.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TjX5r37V0Q]

What’s the Name of That Song is the one that was stuck in my head until a couple of days ago. It’s a great song. Ignore the fact that it’s a children’s song and it is still very rhythmic, funny and easy to listen to. That was the inadvertent soundtrack to my day for most of last week. I take a walk with Baby Mojo, change the diaper, prepare a bottle and it’s there. I suddenly find myself not thinking about the lyrics then the rhythm pops in my head!!

Until last Thursday. I woke up with the intent to not think about that song at all. I go into Baby Mojo’s room and put on the changing table and the first words out of my mouth were, “good morning starshine”.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl8O7NHkrPY]

Oh great. Now I’ve got this very catchy tune from Hair stuck in my head. Good Morning Starshine is an awesome song, however, with it comes the hippie visuals. The longhairs in the convertible going down the highway, traumatic hair shaving scene, clichéd war protests and a minuet of 60’s visions played during the bits that I could remember while singing to Baby Mojo. It was Berkley without that hippie smell going on inside my head.

Mommy Mojo and I have had this problem with songs getting stuck in our heads since Christmas.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOMmSbxB_Sg]

It all started with Santa Baby, because I care for you all I posted the original instead of the one done by Madonna. Everything we’d say regarding Baby Mojo was to the pace of Santa Baby. “Jakey Baby, lets take a bathy before it gets too late”, etc, see, even one line of it is annoying.

Now. Imagine. That. Being. Stuck. For. Four. Months.

We still find ourselves saying things to Baby Mojo to the pacing of that song. Sometimes we won’t do it for a couple of weeks, but then one of us will slip and bring that song front and center.

On the upside, any Sesame Street song is better than that. So what’s your worst song or longest case of something being stuck in your head? A warning, if you get your bad song stuck in my head I’ll send you videos of Santa Baby.

Nostalgic stroller envy

The other week I was at Jungle Joe’s chatting with a stay at home dad. He said that his wife had a case of stroller envy. “Stroller envy, what do you mean”, I asked.

“Well, we have the one stroller, but now she wants a jogging stroller, as well as, an umbrella stroller, whatever that is”, he said. Suddenly it was as if my subconscious had manifested itself in physical form and was confronting me with feelings I was having too.

Internally my Id and Superego were laughing at me, 1. For being in a Jungle Joe’s… and loving it and 2. For understanding exactly what his wife was talking about.

When we were initially shopping for strollers I had no clue about what strollers were good for what purpose. In this case strollers are kind of like shoes, you need a couple different ones for where you’re going.

The Stroller travel system

That’s the bigger one on the left and has a baby carrier that snaps in and out. The baby carrier also pops into the base that will be secured in your back seat. The downside to this system is that the baby carrier can get heavy and the stroller isn’t really responsive if you’ll be jogging or walking quickly. However, the upsides far outweigh any negatives as it’s comfortable, folds flat, has loads of storage and has a shield to cover your Baby Mojo from the sun.

The Umbrella stroller

I was slow to embrace the umbrella stroller but am a big fan now. It’s very lightweight and folds up to the size of an umbrella. This is the great stroller that you’ll use when running a couple of errands or when you need to calm your little Mojo down with a couple of laps around the house. The down side is that your child has to be able to hold their head up, so it can’t be used immediately for infants, and it’s ride is a bit rougher than the bigger strollers. It also doesn’t have the shield to protect against the sun or have any storage space, but it’s the difference between a pair of dress shoes and hiking boots.

Those two strollers are the ones that occupy the Mojo garage for babies. Personally I would love to have one of those three-wheeled strollers with the inflatable tires. They look cool, you can jog in the them and they’re comfortable.

The Green Machine, circa 1975 — The new Green Machine looks the same

They also have the added visual impact of making your child look like they’re in Tron or driving their own Green Machine. Oh, I loved my Green Machine and was totally shocked to see that Huffy is still making them. Huffy, there’s a brand that I haven’t uttered since I was a child. It’s one of those brands that are almost exclusively regulated to children and parents. Since they don’t make Green Machines that are marketed to parents I guess I’ll be familiar with them for the next 14 years at least.

Back to strollers. You need more than one, plan on it and start scouring the yard sales now as these are great items to purchase used or from a consignment store. I know that we’ll be on the yard sale looking for a jogging stroller. If you have one that you’re selling for about $40 please let Daddy Mojo know, otherwise good hunting!