The Occidental Parent

Recently I had an unexpected visitor that stayed with me for a couple weeks. Unfortunately that visitor was my small intestine and he arrived in costume as a hernia. At least it happened in October so I could go to parties dressed as that guy from Alien who had his stomach explode.

As I’m a stay at home dad my wife and I had to figure out how, or if I could take care of Baby Mojo. We came up with a couple ideas that may help stay at home parents who have hernias. Granted it’s a niche group, but if that doesn’t pan out then I’ll share the tips with people that dress up like Master Blaster from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

My first idea was Parenting from the floor. My wife would get Baby Mojo out of the crib in the mornings and then he and I would spend the entire day in the house without me picking him up. As he’s a toddler he was able to get up and down the stairs. This was a good thing because for his afternoon nap I had to trap him like a squirrel.

If that sounds bad, it was even worse in practice. With Baby Mojo in the room I put the pack and play on it’s side. We would play in the room for enough time for his guard to be down and then I would put his favorite toy inside the pack and play.

I love my child, but keep in mind that I was unable to pick him up. With Baby Mojo crawling into the pack and play I would slowly turn the cage, errrrr, napping crate, right side up.

With my newly improved small intestine still in place, Baby Mojo could resume his crying until he went to sleep or Judge Judy ended, whichever came first.

That night I was telling my wife about the day. It was during that conversation that I realized my parenting style.

Guide, don’t push. Love, don’t coddle. Be patient, very patient. 

In a way it was a very ‘zen’ way of parenting, which would make sense since I lived in Japan for a couple years.

I was going to name my parenting style ‘the force’, but apparently that concept was taken already.

Parenting happens. Most of the time your child will let you know what they want or need. You will learn the dirty diaper cry, the tired cry and the I’m not sure why the hell I’m crying cry.  One thing I learned is that it’s better to direct, than to outright forbid.  It’s that way in business too, just supply them with options and it’s much better than a ‘yes’/’no’ situation.

Mercifully I can pick up Baby Mojo again and my small intestine is still happily residing in a place where I can’t see it, hopefully ever again. My parenting style is still the same, it’s sometimes from the floor and now my biggest challenge is not falling asleep to The Wheels on the Bus.