Life lessons from the doughnut isle at Publix

I’ve learned that brothers manipulate each other like they are in sales.  If one of them wants something all they have to do is feign not being interested in it and the other one will back off.  This rule holds true unless it’s something that has an attraction so undeniably strong that neither one can fake it.  Enter the doughnuts.  Sometimes I let the kids get a bag of powdered doughnuts.  It was on one such occasion that I was reminded of some life lessons that parents might forget.

Our shopping trip always starts in the far right of the store.  That way we can pop by the bakery and get a free cookie.  Free cookies, especially when the kids need a snack or you’ll be in the store for a longer shop help make daddy sane, make daddy sane, make daddy sane.

On this day the kids were OK.  They weren’t the angels that they portray themselves to be on our Christmas card, but they were behaving in an acceptably manic way.  This is a moving and gray behavioral target for a 3 and 5 year old.  It can go from normal to delirium in the matter of one shopping isle.

That is why we were navigating Publix like Indiana Jones in the temple of edible treats.  Some treats offered acceptable levels of enthusiastic outbreaks while others released the kraken of childhood crazy.   We skipped the frozen foods because that has ice cream and offers a direct view for the kids to see the doughnuts.  We went straight to the fruit to get some bananas when our youngest wanted to get out and do something.

“do something” was his Jedi mind trick.  He placated me into thinking that he was sleepy, well mannered or calm and not the 3 year old loving doughnut fiend he is at heart.

Once freed from the racing cart buggy he went straight for the doughnuts.  On the way he was yelling in the same frequency that dog trainers use to get their student’s attention.  He was also laughing, in a childlike maniacal way that makes me thankful that they’re on our side.   His older brother was apparently in on the ruse too because he was cheering him on yelling “go, go go!”

At the doughnuts he grabbed a bag, yelled with glee and tried to hide on the other side of the packages.

“I can see you, come here please”, I said.

At the same time an older couple rolled up in their scooters.

“Excuse me, can I talk with you”, the older gentleman said.

“Never forget this.  Never forget this time.  By the time you blink they’ll be older and you’ll be putting them in college.  They’re running around the store now, acting like children, but this is the only time that they’ll do this.  Enjoy it.”  “Never forget this”, that was his Jedi mind trick or more accurately Captain Miller moment from Saving Private Ryan.

I hadn’t intended to purchase doughnuts that day, but we did.  I also gave them each one in the car, even though it was closer to dinner than most snack times.