My wife found a videotape that I was hiding

You never want to start a sentence out like that do you?  To be technically correct, it was a video file on the camera and I didn’t show it to her because I thought she would find it disgusting.

My wife is very clean and never lets any of our animals lick her.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t encourage it, but if one of our dogs lick my leg I’m not going to stop them.  They’ll lick for a moment and then stop, they’re dogs, and it’s what they do.

However, Abby has been attracted to Jake since we brought him home as a newborn.    The first night Jake was home Abby camped out on the top step trying to attend to the crying baby.  Ever since that night she has been much more attracted to the baby than the other dog or (shocker…) the two cats.

So Abby was laying next to Jake and started to lick him, which produced some strong belly laughs.  I was scared that Mom would’ve yelled high and low at me that I let the dog lick the baby, so the video file sat in the camera for months….until this weekend.

I heard her laughing, asked what she was watching and she said ‘the video with Abby and Jake’.  So…I guess she didn’t mind the fact that our dog was French kissing our child, cool.  It was hilarious to watch and I’m confident that many a parent has laughed at it before us.

Now the only video that my wife hasn’t seen is the one up in the attic.  It’s about 20 years old and is my arrest footage. 

In my defense, it was at a college party, specifically the old Halloween Party at East Carolina University.  In the years prior to my attending their Halloween parties were huge, block upon block of drunk, undereducated, (mainly) minor youths who just wanted to get wasted near the Tar River.

However, in my sophomore year they decide to crack down and lose their title of Best Collegiate Halloween Party.  The police gave everybody fair warning that if you showed up at this apartment complex, you would be arrested.  But, since we lived at the apartment complex we could roam about in costume, right?

No.  Loads of police formed a line down the street and took anybody they could grab, put them in a meat locker type vehicle and went down town when it was filled up.  I was slow and in costume.  To the producers credit they got arrest and courtroom footage, a friend of mine even got to speak to the reporter.

Even in college I had a knack for finding television cameras.  Thankfully a friend of mine was taping all of the coverage just in case one of his drunkard friends ended up in the pokey.  In the end it was only a fine of $80, however, that was roughly $8,000 to the city of Greenville, NC that night.

To my wife:  Unfortunately, the tape is VHS and we only have a DVD player…shoot.  Unless we purchase a VHS player or pay to convert the tape to DVD it will remain a memory forever…Hmmm, I think I know what I’m getting mom for Mothers’ Day 2011.