What to expect from your Melanoma surgery

Recap:  My wife saw a mole on my back and said (in a loving manner) “get that thing checked out”. The dermatologist biopsied it, came back cancerous and here we are for Melanoma surgery. Melanoma is a complex thing- lots of blogs go into detail about what stage is this or what astrological sign that is. This is my experience with melanoma.   You’re not really consulting a blog that bills itself as ‘poop culture’ for valid medical advice about your specific case, are you?

The doctor said:  Your surgery is at 4 and the operation will take about 2 hours.

I really thought:  Shoot, I hope we get done in time so that I can go see Despicable Me 2.  My wife asked me why I was depressed and I told her that I really wanted to see that movie.  She then reminded me that the movie will actually be in theaters and that I could go see it once I’m not being operated on.

The doctor then said:  You need to be at the hospital four hours prior to surgery to check in and get prepared.

I said:  Oh, this is an all day affair.  Crap.

We checked into the hospital at noon went through the paperwork and I changed into the backless hospital gown at 1:15.  Normally I’d associate ‘backless’ with something sexy, like ‘look at my wife wearing that red backless dress, hot mama…..’.

However, anyone who’s worn a hospital gown knows it’s more about not showing your ass to the masses when you go down the hall to use the toilet.  Nudity gets a pass in the hospital.  In a couple of hours all these people poking and talking to me were going to see me asleep and naked anyway.

Once the IV was in my hand and the drip was dripping I could go to Nuclear Medicine.  Judas Priest Spider Man came into my head for a moment and was immediately replaced by Nuclear Assault.

The Gamma Camera

The Gamma Camera is in the Nuclear Medicine department.  If nothing else, Melanoma surgery has some new words with great alliteration.  The Gamma Camera is not a camera that takes photos of Bruce Banner, nor is it an homage to the very monotone band from the 80’s Aztec Camera.

The Gamma Camera is a million dollar camera that takes photos of the particle that will be injected into the area where the melanoma was biopsied. Once the photos are taken they’ll mark on your skin the location of the closest sentinel lymph node.

Recap:  My mole was biopsied which led me to Melanoma surgery and now the sentinel lymph node will be biopsied.  The sentinel lymph node is being biopsied to see if anything spread to that area.  Don’t panic because they’re removing it, you have others.  Just pretend that that sentinel lymph node tried to convert from scientology and Tom Cruise is taking it to be re-educated.

Your time with the Gamma Camera and Nuclear Medicine lasts about an hour.  After that you go back to the prep area where you can relax until the operating room is ready.  Once you get to the operating room they’ll start to do something and you’ll fall asleep rather quickly.

Post melanoma surgery you can’t drive for a week or lift anything heavy for 4 weeks.  The biopsy for the sentinel lymph node will be done and the doctor will call you to share the status.  Fingers crossed for no spreading!!!