I’m OK with being called Mr. Mom- depending on who you are

Hi, my name is Trey and I’m a stay at home dad.  During the day I care for an 18 month old and 3.5 year old.  I get called Mr. Mom a couple of times a week and for the most part it doesn’t bother me.  “Oh are doing the Mr. Mom today”, the cashier will innocently say.  I’ll politely say, no, I do this full time, they’ll feel stupid and we’ll leave.

Mr. Mom was released in 1983 its reviews were lukewarm at best.  Many reviewers called it a tepid rehash of a familiar plot; which is ironic because that’s what it feels like when dads who stay at home with their children are called that.  It’s a familiar cliche and a tepid rehash for a nickname.

I’ve been doing the stay at home dad, Mr. Mom thing for a couple years now and all local stores know us.  We can easily tell the new cashiers because they’re the ones who say it.  When we go into a new shop they usually will not say it.  Calling a dad with children Mr. Mom isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s rarely good, funny or complimentary.  Here are some instances of when and how Mr. Mom is used and how it’s perceived.

At the store

Call me Mr. Mom at the store and I know you’re just making small talk.

It’s not offensive, but it adds nothing to my shopping experience.  It’s better to compliment the children or talk about the weather.

Brands/advertisers

Unless it’s funny or very dry, don’t do it-ever.  Some of you brands are bad enough because you often resort to the dumbass dad stereotype.    Dads purchase lots of stuff, lose the tired, dated stereotypes.    Having said that, many brands are doing a better job at speaking to dads and guys, it’s possible that the memo has been received.

If you’re a friend

I don’t mind if a friend introduces me as a Mr. Mom because that’s not the focus of the conversation.  We’ll acknowledge what I do during the daytime and then move on to talking about something else.

As a compliment

“Yeah, but your husband’s a Mr. Mom”, someone told my wife recently.  I asked my wife what that person meant and she said that she went on to state that he (I) helps out with the children, keeps the house clean and supports you (my wife).   That was a sweet compliment and I know that she did not mean Mr. Mom as a pejorative.

Recap, if you’re in the inner circle it’s OK, as long as it’s in passing or complimentary.  If you don’t know us then treat us like a woman who you think might be pregnant and don’t mention it.

Side note to Hollywood.  Never, ever remake this movie.