When I started being a stay at home dad the little things irritated me. The ‘moms’ club that wouldn’t allow dads for the play dates was annoying and made getting play dates more work. When store clerks innocently said “so you’re staying home with the kids today?” I’ve simply learned to smile politely and tell them that I do this every day.
Our two and a half year old goes to pre-school 2 days a week. Sometimes when I pick him up I’ll arrive 10 minutes early so I can watch him play with the other kids. It brings a smile to your face to watch your child play when they don’t know that you’re watching them. I used to do the same thing when our dogs would go to doggie daycare. With children it’s easier to do because they all of them don’t rush the fences, plus their sense of smell isn’t as good as dogs.
One thing that used to make me cringe is participating in various things called ‘Mom’ or ‘mommy’. Said pre-school had a ‘Tea with Mommy’ social after class one day. I didn’t attend because I didn’t think it was a big deal. However, every mom was there and Toddler Mojo was uncharacteristically hyper, which quickly led to a major meltdown.
Whoops. Lesson learned: whenever there is an event that all the moms care about then I, the dad, need to care about it too. My wife, who was out of town on a business trip, came back and said that she actually wanted to attend Tea with Mommy.
In a social media sense I’ve always been cool with attending events that were mom centered. BlogHer and Social Media Moms Celebration at Walt Disney World are two conferences I’m attending this year. I don’t expect them to change their names just because more dads are staying at home with the kids and blogging.
A lot was made about the census bureau and their counting stay at home dads as “child care”. That report registered an eye roll from me, but not too much more. It doesn’t matter how I, as a stay at home dad is classified or thought of. What matters is that I’m teaching our children the most, exposing them to different things and providing them as much love as possible.
If I have to attend Tea with Mommy (which I will in the future!), work harder to find groups of kids to play with or placate stereotypes-then that is my onus. Stay at home moms and stay at home dads do pretty much the same things and there isn’t a need to pigeon hole or stereotype either one of us.
I also run lot of errands during the week. A certain cashier at Wal Mart knows us by name and we try to go through their lane every time. He even knows that Toddler Mojo like mint and has a stash of them under the drawer.
We run the same errands as moms, but we probably go to Home Depot or Lowe’s more often than they do. Wait, is that stereotyping stay at home moms?
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Loved it. I think stay at home dads are really great. And you’re obviously a good one!
Aww (blushing) thanks. Team effort, mom takes the weekends so I can recharge.
Stay at home DADS are refreshing- Those Mummy groups can be fabulous and dangerous
All of my friends across the pond who have kids are moms that stay at home. What’s the vibe on stay at home mom groups over there?
The good news is things are improving for dads. When I was at YOUR place, it was much worse. I remember how ALL the moms would ask me, “What do you do all day?” even though they knew my elementary school aged boys had ONLY me taking care of them when their mom left AND I was taking care of ailing parents. Imagine if I asked one of them what they did all day? BUT, what also got me were the dads. They also pretty much asked the same question – a different one. Theirs was, “So, when are you going back to work?”
Dads get a bad rap, but WE are changing that and I believe future generations of dads will have much less negativity and scorn to face!
Sometimes I still wonder what I do all day, but those are the bad days and every stay at home parent has them.
What was parenting like in the 19th century. 😉