Attack of the day-shoppers: store etiquette during busy times

I do love December.  Christmas seems to make most of the people I encounter in the stores happier and more pleasant.  This time of year also brings out lots more of these people, some of whom didn’t get the memo that they should be happier and more pleasant.

I call them day-shoppers.  It’s not because they’re used to shopping at night, it’s just that shopping in the day seems alien to them.  They’re kind of like zombies, except they won’t try to attack you, unless it’s on Black Friday and you’re standing in the path of some plasma TV that’s on sale.

Pick a lane

Much like driving your car you should pick a lane.  In the shopping isles there are no lanes, but pick a side of the isle, preferably the right hand side and keep the shopping cart in there.  This will also help reinforce real world driving habits, which might be questionable given your skills at pushing the shopping cart.

Curb the phone

In a store the other day I saw a person pull out his push to talk phone and (in the middle of an isle) start a conversation.  I zipped around this earpiece challenged person and finished my grocery shopping.  20 minutes later I saw this person still having a conversation!!!

This person truly was a day-shopper-a knucklehead of the highest order who needs to surrender all weekday shopping duties ASAP.

Man your vehicle

Do not abandon your shopping cart-ever.  If you leave it unattended then fellow shoppers should be able to bumper cart your buggy to the dark corner of the store where the store trolls live.  Once there the store trolls will steal your ID, purchase As Seen on TV products and CD collections being hawked by Greg Brady.

Know your role

With apologies to The Rock, when you’re shopping you need to know your role.  You are in the store to shop.  You can talk or strike up a conversation, but do it out of the flow of traffic.  The flow of traffic is not at the end of the isles or facing each other in the soup isle.  Wanna talk?  Line the buggies up behind each other and chat away.

Otherwise, lest you end up where the store trolls live and As Seen on TV products are purchased with your money and ID, but sent to my house.

There is a slight language warning on this video featuring some of The Rock’s greatest moments.