Dear #FutureYou, don’t wig out-here are some tips #ad

I partnered with Life of Dad  and Rogaine for this promotion  (Everything in this post regarding our employment is true. Except for the time travel part, that’s just us wishing that we had a TARDIS)

Hey Trey, congratulations on the job you just finished. Once that commercial launches you’ll be able to get your SAG Card! With that you can do all sorts of official acting, extra or voice over stuff, party on. Your next job will be co-hosting for an international toupee infomercial! That means you have a 50/50 chance of being the Ryan Seacrest on this gig, so do your best. You’ll be fitted with a toupee, swim around in a pool with a girl, play tennis-then go to a shopping center and talk to people about ‘the process’.

‘The process’ is just a fancy name for a toupee, don’t get lost in the branding or allow your mind to think that it’s some experimental thing. Your toupee for the infomercial will be made from the finest quality French and Japanese hair. Side note: in the future, you’ll live in France, as well as, Japan and meet lots of cool guys from each country. They’ll have amazingly thick hair that, unlike yours, never recedes.  All a couple of those guys did was let theirs grow out several inches. They got a haircut and their discarded hair was glued standing up onto a thin layer of rubbery material that will seamlessly fit on top of your head. Got it?

You’re got that look don’t you? You’re happy about the work, paycheck and perhaps slightly bummed about that receding hairline. I know, when The Terminator came out you were merely saying that you’ve got a high hairline and that it wasn’t retreating. Yeah, that idea never went anywhere and they don’t hire dudes with a head full of hair to co-host a toupee infomercial, do they?

Relax. In the future you’ll shave your head and be cool with it. However, Peter has a similar hairline to you and just started using Men’s Rogaine® Unscented Foam. He didn’t tell anyone that he’s using it. He simply started using it and his baldness, even to this day in the future doesn’t happen.  Your future wife, who rocks BTW (by the way) thinks he’s ridiculously handsome.

Peter and you/I both have hereditary hair loss. This is a lovely trait that’s passed down from the family tree. It’s the slow trickle of hair loss that starts at the crown and gradually creates a ‘horseshoe’ look of hair everywhere on the head but the top.

Peter started using Rogaine® twice a day, every day and he’s living the life of follicle fun some 20 years down the road. You took a different road and are still happy, but you didn’t have to go that way. So, Future You, what are going to do? It’s a good trip either way; it just depends on which road you want to take.