The theme song to The Addams Family is very catchy. The song is so endearing that our 8 year-old, despite having never seen any of the movies or the show was walking around the house humming the first couple of bars. Unfortunately for anyone over 11 years-old the Addams Family (2019) is a stiff, lifeless affair-and not in the way that it could’ve been for a children’s movie. At the end of the day, the biggest winner in The Addams Family (2019) is Snoop Dogg and not just because he has the least amount of time on screen; more on that in a moment.
The Addams Family, the family of monsters and freaks from some Eastern European that somehow managed to come to America now has a back story. They were persecuted because the locals didn’t accept them and forced to become refuges in a foreign land, where they were still misunderstood. The family looks high and low for a place to call home, ultimately deciding on a place freaky enough to accept them, New Jersey.
At this point I was about to get all self-righteous and say “Leave New Jersey alone” in my best Chris Crocker impersonation. However, New Jersey has history with the creator of The Addams Family, Charles Addams because he’s from there. We’ll forgive the screenwriters for using that cop-out of a joke that wasn’t even humorous in the 1990s. However, the rest of the lame gags, jokes or physical humor that fall flat is 100% on them.
I have a rather low bar for enjoying movies. Even with my low bar, The Addams Family firmly bonks its head on the entrance and is sprawled outside on the street. I love the physical act of going to the theater, watching the previews and eating popcorn. So, when we see something that is so worthless the ‘review’ aspect that should dominate commentary about a film turns into a warning.
The Addams Family is a laugh-less, predictable film that’s bad on many levels. If one were going strictly by the caliber of the script this would’ve been a straight-to-DVD film. There is nothing wrong with films like that. In a way those film are far superior to this one because they set realistic expectations.
Had the film been released before Hotel Transylvania the jokes and characters would’ve felt fresh, or at least not so dead. The majority of the jokes The Addams Family are opposite ones. A cloudy day is beautiful, they drink from dog bowls, we kick each other to sleep and so on. After the first half an hour even those low hanging joke fruits didn’t make our 10 year-old laugh. Although he did leave the theater twice to get a popcorn refill, we drew straws on who got to leave-and he won.
One commercial for the film features the fact that Snoop Dogg is the voice of cousin It. It rolls up late in the film playing Drop It Like It’s Hot. It gets out of the car and mutters something in a high pitched voice and does the same thing in a couple other scenes. Snoop also has a song in the credits. Snoop’s agent deserves a raise for getting his client a paycheck in this film. There’s nothing indistinguishable about his vocal work in this film.
Thankfully, the other characters in the film share that characteristic. Unfortunately for them, they have a bigger part in this resuscitated intellectual property that’s masquerading as entertainment. Some families might get suckered into seeing this film, either due to the catchy theme song or the fact that there aren’t any other films out there for families. Having said that, look harder, check out the $1 theater, go to the park (for free!), throw dirty socks in the laundry in a smelly game of sockball-any of those options will be more enjoyable.
Save your money. Rent this film at home and it’ll be mildly entertaining if you come into it with low expectations.
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