Dumbo is a mostly joyless, PC driven pachyderm Free Willy

Please don’t mess this up. That was my thought when I first saw the trailer for Dumbo. It’s not that I have fond memories of the 1941 original. I’m sure I saw it as a child, but I have no memory of it. The only thing I know of Dumbo is that he’s a flying elephant. Having said that, it’s classic intellectual property, an icon and a symbol of all things Disney. If they could mess up this film then the next you know they’ll go about closing classic theme park attractions like The Great Movie Ride. *

To the film’s credit, Dumbo isn’t a total dumpster fire. It’s just that the film doesn’t know exactly what it’s trying to be. There are very few funny scenes so it’s not funny enough to be a comedy. There are enough dramatic elements for it to be considered a drama, but for what age? Audiences under 14 won’t find the laughs or entertainment that they require to fully hold their attention. Those older than 14 will be able to predict what’s going to happen the moment that we’re introduced to the characters-which aren’t given enough rope to run with.

We meet Milly, the daughter of Holt, a WWI veteran who returns home. Milly is a rebellious tween who wants nothing to do with the circus and has an interest in science. Note to Hollywood: we get it now; girls can be scientists too, thanks for the update and quit hammering audiences with this message. We also know that animals in the circus is a bad thing, now that we’re reminded of this can we get on with the guilt trip that audiences will pay $12 for?

When Holt returns from WWI we see that he lost an arm in battle. Wait, a one-armed rodeo rider in the circus, the same circus with a big-eared elephant, a strong-man and other human performers who are on the outcast of mainstream society? This is just one example where the not-so-subtle characteristics project their intentions from a big tent away.

There are a couple moments of joy. When Dumbo first flies it’s quite entertaining, but then the audience is labored with more story that’s as obvious as the obelisk to the chimpanzees in 2001. Here comes the wealthy investor who, wait for it, also has a theme park and circus. He’s looking for a main act and Dumbo could just be the ticket for the small town travelling circus and the big time entertainment mogul to make a match.

So now, Dumbo and (spoiler alert) his mother are in the same circus. You’ll never guess what happens next….unless you’ve seen the 1993 film Free Willy.

There are some nice inside baseball moments when the film goes to the investor’s theme park, Dreamland. It’s like a steam punk Disney World, complete with its own version of Carousel of Progress. Literally, this is a generic version of Carousel of Progress. Initially it’s quite complimentary, but as (spoiler alert) Dreamland burns down, we see the robots melting and malfunctioning. I’m guessing that Dumbo wasn’t given the theme park QA check before it went to print.

It’s obvious that the film, set designers and aspects of the cast are trying very hard to make it all work. That’s what’s all the more frustrating as a fan of everything involved with the film. I should have loved this film, yet it’s a hodgepodge of big ears, guilt and nostalgia wrapped up in a Disney bow.

Tim Burton directs Dumbo. In theory this is great because he’s a left of center guy that is capable of making the ordinary seem cool. Alas, Dumbo is more Planet of the Apes (2001) or (Mars Attacks!) than Alice in Wonderland. As a movie fan and Disney fan, I’m sensing that the live action movie parade is fading or at the minimum suffering from Star Wars fatigue or poor development. I’m getting the same vibe from Aladdin and The Lion King as I did when I first saw the Dumbo trailer.

The good news for Disney, to an extent; is that these bad review of their live action films will fall on deaf ears. The classic Disney fans will see them to be reminded of what they love and most likely take their children. The downside, if their kids are like ours then after they leave  Dumbo they’ll be ambivalent at best or worst case for Disney, ask when the next Minions film comes out.  

*I know that The Great Movie Ride closed. GMR4L yo.