The Sandwich Generation persists. School has started, the kids keep on growing and our medical knowledge and health sensibilities have expanded beyond our wildest expectations. In the past couple of months I’ve learned that gangrene is not uncommon, how to use left femoral bypass fluently, talk about various types of hematomas and that amputations are not a dirty word. It was the summer of health in our little corner of the sandwich generation and our boys were along for most of the ride.
The boys always went with me to the doctor. I did that to illustrate to them that everybody goes to the doctor, the needles were nothing to fear, getting a shot is no big deal and that the doctor’s office can be a fun place to go. Even when it was simply going to my doctors I’d encourage them with the treat of doughnuts, pay them a quarter or threaten them with a tickle to ask coherent questions to the doctors or the nurses.
They started out with basic questions like, “what do you do?”-and coming from a five year old that’s an incredibly cute query. By the end of the summer they were asking the specialists, with mild assistance, questions about their specific practice.
At the hospital one time the heart specialists were having a pizza sale to raise awareness for something. I recognized one of the doctors as the one who had assisted my father on one of his operations. The smell of pizza and waving doctors and nurses in scrubs, complete with a bowl of candy enticed us to come down from the second floor.
As we walked down the stairs I told the boys that we could get pizza if they asked the doctors five questions about their work. By now they were used to the drill, but their questions this time revealed that they were really starting to dig into what makes a good question.
We expected the “what do you do?” question initially and the younger one didn’t disappoint. His other variation on that is “what are you doing?” which can still is cute as long as it’s not preceded by his initial go-to question.
His 7-year old brother started whispering in the ear of an anesthesiologist. While this was happening I had to monitor the small one who was inching closer to the candy bowl and talking to one of the nurses. After a couple minutes of this I reminded the boys about the goal of there being four more questions and the anesthesiologist told me that they were done.
As if suspecting a coup or previously arranged partnership I asked the anesthesiologist what questions he asked.
It turns out the 7-year old asked him ‘how much blood can the heart pump in a minute?’ (5-7 liters), ‘what is the heart made up of?’ (3 layers of muscle) and ‘what do you like about your job?’ (helping people). One of his questions was also ‘what does the heart do?’ which is technically a derivative of his younger brother’s go-to question, but we let it slide that time.
I don’t necessarily want either boy to be a doctor. If they want to then that’s a great decision. If we had to do massive home renovations and they spent hours upon hours at a home improvement store; I would’ve asked them to be just as curious to the people they interact with there too.
So with school in session they boys have a respite from literally going to a doctor’s office every other day. Such is the way of the sandwich generation. Going to those offices certainly was not their idea of a fun time, but we made the best of it and I explained to them that this is something that we had to do.
“Why do we have to do it?” asked someone small from the back seat. I explained to them that he took care of me when I was a boy and that he needs our help now. They were good sports with the totality of the summer’s doctor visits and I hope that they learned a thing or two also.
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