Sometimes it’s as simple as a kind word

I’m a Sisterhood of the Motherhood Partner and was compensated for this post. All thoughts are our own. Many times, OK, quite often, my wife is correct. Husbands, it’s OK for you to say that, ditto the wives out there, your husband is quite often, correct. We were at the dinner table the other day with the children when I sarcastically entered into a conversation that we needed to have. I forget what started it, but the crux of the conversation was simply telling the other one something nice about them.

We say ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and other pleasantries around the house. That’s just basic manners that we want our children to learn after us. To quote the wrestling philosopher, Ric Flair, ‘talk the talk, walk the walk’.

So my wife and I started telling each other what we liked. She was much quicker at it than I was. It’s not that I was short on things that I love or admire about my wife, but I was trying to also watch our youngest in the other room and keep our oldest in the loop of the conversation.

These were not the plastic fuzzies that people sometimes give. They were earnest compliments about how she is organized, has a great smile, does a great job with the kids, supports the family as a kick-butt breadwinner and still manages to find time for her sister, parents, grandparents and us, the immediate family. What’s more, she does all of that while keeping it together.

You could probably describe your spouse or partner using those adjectives to some extent too. Granted the degree to which they do one thing or the other will vary, but they do many things well on a daily basis. Do you compliment them on it? Do you say thank you for the seemingly basic things like emptying the dishwasher or folding the laundry?

There is a very funny bit that Chris Rock did in the early 90’s about dads from his Bigger & Badder tour. It goes along the lines of thanking dad for paying for the rent, electricity and other things that usually don’t get thanked. My wife and I exchange that bit quite often, but it’s sincere. I thank her for the roof, electricity to run the computers so I can watch cat videos, heat to warm us and so forth.

A kind word can really go a long way.

There’s an employee at our local big box home improvement store. Every time we go in they’re kind to the boys, ask them questions, pass out balloons, popcorns or hot dogs. From time to time they’ll end their conversation with me by saying  “you’re doing a great job dad”.

I’ve seen this employee interact with other parents too. “You’re doing a great job mom”, they’ll say as the happy kids get pushed away with their balloon or popcorn trailing along the floor.

Have you ever had someone-out of the blue, just say something nice to you? If so, please share the story on their Similar Facebook page. The more kindness that people see actually happen will mean more if happening, talk the talk, walk the walk.

In their case, this employee is as genuine as their comment. I’ve spoken to them when they’re off  the clock and they’re just as kind, engaging and sincere as they were when greeting the kids or telling you that you’re doing a great job.

It’s a simple key to ending the mommy wars, just say a nice thing to someone. I’m sure that the employee that does it gets a nice sensation when they do it. I’ve since started saying my own version of their compliment. I always aim it at the parents and not the child. It might be as simple as a sincere hello, good-bye or not looking at my phone when I’m on the playground.