This is why men don’t call other men handsome

I was out with my wife the other day and we saw a couple that we know. Her husband and I gave each other the man-nod and exchanged pleasantries. That’s the simple head tilt upwards quickly followed by a “what’s up?” or “how’s the weekend?”. It may not officially be called the man-nod, but it is virtually guaranteed that no women greet each other that way. That is because women, usually after the initial greeting say “you (or possibly that outfit) look so pretty”.

The other husband and I did the man-nod and our wives, at almost the same time said, “you look so pretty”.  It was West Side Story performed in the second person.

Men don’t tell other men that they look handsome. It might be done sometimes in jest, like when everyone is wearing a tuxedo, ie, the same thing or sarcastic when they’re wearing junk clothing. But, this one time, in Michigan when I was playing pickleball I referred to another guy as handsome.

Pickleball is an amazing game that is essentially scaled down tennis or a bigger version of ping pong.  It’s a slow moving ball that sometimes requires the players to move fast. It’s a great game that handsome men of all ages play. During one of these exchanges someone asked where the ball was.

“It’s over there by that handsome guy”, I said eager to get back to the game.

I headed back to the court to continue laying the pickle smack down. Everyone else had stopped to look at me and my brother-in-law let a large guffaw and asked me what I just said.

To clarify, it was an earnest compliment. The man in question is handsome. You see him in a crowd and he stands out for many reasons. I wasn’t being cheeky or sarcastic. I just met him, forgot his name and the pickleball, which I did not hit out, was near him.

Plus, ‘that handsome guy’ is more complimentary than ‘that tall guy whose name I forgot’.

However, that one instance of saying another man is handsome still haunts me. “Oh, he’s too busy looking at himself to hit the ball”, the handsome man’s friends say when they’re trying to get his attention.  At times when I’m asked what I think about something,the go-to adjective, if I don’t answer quick enough is handsome.

This weekend my wife had similar conversations with a couple wives and I gave their husbands the same man-nod. I might sincerely compliment their Star Wars or rock concert tee, but I’ll refrain from calling them handsome unless I really know them.