Is it possible to love someone too much?

At the risk of burying the lede, the headline is not meant to be hyperbole. Rather, it’s a reminder that kids say the darndest things and it’s one of the jobs of parents to try and remember as many of them as possible. A five year old is full of so many other emotions that they can’t process in a timely manner.   We’re used to most of the chaos and love, but the other day he said something that was utterly unexpected and beyond his years.

We were in a changing room at the Y getting ready to go swimming. The Y is the YMCA and contrary to Morrissey, they do not have a vacancy for a back scrubber.

Jake, his younger brother and I were in the changing room when he sheepishly looked at me and said, “daddy, can I ask you something”? Usually when he asks this it’s followed by something that is out of the ordinary. Why do trees have leaves, can I get more Octonaut toys or a question that usually doesn’t require more explanation are the sorts that we normally get.

However, this time, in a very somber tone he asked, “Is it possible to love someone too much?”

Instead of my sometimes dismissive reaction I stopped what I was doing, looked at him and said “no, it’s not possible to love someone too much.”

I explained to him that love is a fabulous thing and that he and his brother were loved by so many people. Love is a form of the deepest trust; understanding and support that you can give, or receive I went on to tell our young Jack Kerouac.

“Who do you think that you love too much”, I dared to ask the question. In my mind it could’ve been one of the girls in his class, his music teacher, Nonny or mom.

He put his chin down, raised it quickly and said “look I have a stamp on my hand!”

So that particular moment was gone.  Over dinner I told my wife and we marveled at how cool being a parent was and just how awesome our children are. Our sons will discover bigger problems in life, but for now we’re happy with the fact that the oldest is concerned over if it’s possible to love someone too much.