Lemmings, playgrounds and the popularity of being stupid

I was on the playground with some moms and we noticed a little boy who was getting attention from the other kids.  This kid was running fast up to objects, like trees, the playground equipment and fences, hitting them and then falling down.  After seeing this, the other kids started running into each other and the cats and dogs living together, mass toddler hysteria.

The child’s mother was then clued into the fact that her son was the one that started this.  They left the playground and went into the parking lot.  It was here that the 5 year old boy started to throw a tantrum.  He lay down on the ground and writhed around on his back like he was doing the worm.

I don’t know anything about this mother or her child. I do know that her son is the one that the teachers and students talk about in class.  There aren’t any behavioral issues mind you; it’s just a child acting out without any hint of boundaries.

A substitute teacher was on the playground let us in on how he behaves in class.  He’s the kid who disrupts class on a steady basis, uses pre-school potty humor and gets the laughs from his classmates.  In some respect he’s a typical child and at times the reason why I want my child to avoid kids like him.

Don’t get me wrong, our children have moments out in public too.  They freak out, cry, melt down and fall apart at seemingly insignificant things.  Think like a lifeguard and watch the pool/playground, that’s what I try to do when I’m with the kids.

I’ll talk to people, but my #1 goal is to watch the kids, because they’re looking for a place where I’m not looking.  I’m not helicopter parenting, but I’m watching.  In this place the older can hit the younger, the younger can take his pants down or jacket off or they’ll try to mimic the actions of older kids who act out, stupidly or dangerous to get attention.

Is this the seed from which the class doofus will sprout?  In high school it always amazed me why the popular kids were that way not because of their intelligence, but because of their looks, family name, athletic ability.  Maybe times have changed, and I hope that they have, but back in the day that’s the way the social pecking structure worked in high school.

I was talking with a dad who is a generation below me and that’s the way that his was too.  He was in the geek crowd and told me that most of his friends are still in touch with him, successful and happy.  I want my children to be geeks.  I want them to be the smart people that have companies that hire the people like the class clowns.

I want them to have fun in school and know that learning is fun and something that never stops.  That’s why whenever I do something new, take a class or have a question I let them know that I don’t know.

So is this kid who is running into things and disrupting class PRE-K classes destined to fail?  Of course I don’t know.  However, as our children get older I’m more aware of these influences and am ready to deal with them.  That could be explaining to them that ‘we don’t do that’, the value of not doing what others do for laughs and the super elusive common-sense that some children have.

I try not to judge this mom or this kid.  I know that someone could just as easily judge me when one of our kids has a meltdown and I handle it poorly.  Children are unpredictable and sometimes they do things just to get a rise out of those around them.

We’ve discovered that our oldest works best when there’s little emotion.    When he’s trying to egg us on we simply count it backwards and threaten to take away his favorite toy, TV time or special treat that usually helps dial him back to normal. For now we’re lucky that this works with him.

So as a new school week starts I’m ready to go back to the playground.  I’ll see if that kid is there.  He might be there doing a new thing that’s getting him laughs.  He might’ve been replaced by a new kid who’s doing the same thing from last week.  Either way I’m watching my kids to be certain that they know what’s appropriate and what’s not.