Toy animals, pink stuff and a child’s desire to help dad before going to the Oncologist

The Oncologist is not your typical doctor.  The audiologist, cardiologist, plastic surgeon and immunologist, just to mention a few can all be figured out their prefix.  Granted one may think that the plastic surgeon only works on little plastic dolls, but what child hasn’t ripped the arm off of Joe or Barbie?  However, what is the ‘onco’ that these doctors are treating?  I never knew that fact until I was an adult and kind of bummed out when I had to go see one.  Everything is fine now.  We have quarterly visits to Doctor Lee and our son wasn’t too happy with us on our recent visit.

We’re going to the doctor I told the kids once I picked them up from school.  I immediately retracted that and said that I am going to the doctor, but that they were coming with me.

“Can I get a lolly there”? the oldest asked.

‘Yeah, sure if they have some, but this isn’t that kind of doctor’, I said.

He ignored me for a little bit until we were ready to go.  By then he had convinced his younger brother, who can’t talk yet that we all were going to see the doctor.  Again I reassured them that this doctor was just for daddy.

“Well what if I were your doctor”? he asked

“I really need to see the doctor buddy”

“What if I pretended to be your doctor?”

Sensing 5 year old cuteness I agreed and asked our budding Trapper John where his office was.  Without missing a beat he led me up the stairs and said, “follow me”.

We went up to his room where he ran around getting everything into place.  He gathered up his box of animals and told me that I could play with them while I waited.  Considering how protective that is about them and how rarely he shares his animals I knew that he was quite serious about this.

He nervously ran in circles like one of the 3 Stooges who had an ear infection.  At which point I suggested that he ask me where it hurt.  I told him that my skin was sensitive and had to have some things removed from it.

“Oh, let me get some pink stuff” he said running into his bathroom.  Pink stuff is the Rosetta Stone to his medicine world.  Stomach ache, headache, whatever ails him can surely be made better with the pink stuff.  However, he brought back some infant’s gas medicine that we never had to use and said try this.  Obviously pleased with himself he asked if anything else hurt.  I responded that my back hurt a little and he came back with mom’s toothbrush.

Granted, this was a nice toothbrush with a couple settings that vibrate more aggressively than the average toothbrush.  But it really was just a toothbrush that can only clean your teeth and not massage your back or treat whatever it is that occupies my ‘onco’ that needed to be seen by a specialist.

Our son’s 10 minute clinic was about to close and I suggested that we go run some errands.  Once in the car I fessed up and said that we still had to go see the doctor.

“Oh, I only did half of the work didn’t I”, he said.

‘Yeah, but you did half of the work really well and…’

“Why not just call, cancel the appointment and I can do the rest”?

I made up a quick story about there not being time, it would be rude and that this was a special doctor who was checking up on the surgery that daddy had last summer.  The last part of that is actually true.

Cancer sucks yo.  Even my quick brush with Melanoma was frightening.  I get to see the dermatologist every quarter for the next year and then every six months after that.  The oncologist gets to see me every quarter for the next year and then every year for a while.  Those doctor visits suck, but at least mine was caught early.

Our visit today reminded me of our blogging friend Owen, as well as, Amanda.  Side note: there is just over one week to donate to Amanda in case you can help offset some of her medical costs.  Cancer sucks and is expensive.  Even our little visit to the Oncologist today cost $400ish.  Next time when I need chest x-rays and blood work it’ll be $900ish, before insurance.

At the end of our visit there was no candy.  As a matter of fact when they arrived at the office they ran to the window and asked if there was any.

“oh no, you at it all the last time you were here”, the nurse jokingly said.  She obviously remembered them from our last visit and I give them a heads up every time that we go.  The boys were content with getting a cup of water and then climbing about the examination room until Doctor Lee commenced with his poking, prodding and (thankful!) Cancer free skin check up.