4 disgusting things I do because I’m a Dad

Stay at home dads are just like stay at home moms for the most part.   Granted our child running  into my groin* would hurt much worse than him doing the same thing to his mom, but parenting wise, we’re all on the same field.  A nice post last week highlighted 5 disgusting things that moms do.  Any parent can identify with them, but I wanted to add perspective from this side of the chromosome. 

Don’t bathe for days

Prior to being a dad I cringed when I heard moms say that they only take a shower once or twice a week.  Now that I’m in your social circles I get it and have adopted the same bathing habits.   I intend on showering most days, but I’ll get jammed up with work at night, can’t do it in the day time and aren’t waking up early to do it.  I know why the caged bird doesn’t bathe.

I fart a lot

Do I fart a lot because I’m a dad or have I always farted a lot and now just do it with abandon?  To answer this question I asked my wife if her stay at home mom friends farted lots.  “Sweetie, you’re actually less gassy now.  Remember when we used to go out to eat with friends and I’d quietly ask you if you farted?”

Apparently I just fart a lot around the children during the daytime when I can’t shower.  I also apologize to our dinner guests a couple of years ago.

Human tissue

The other day I took More Mojo to the bank.  Once inside the bank he fell down face first, causing his lip to bleed.  To calm the screaming child down I picked him up and held him closely.  Unfortunately he was so close that he could pick up an ink pen and doodle on my shirt.  The result was a bloody, ink Rorschach test on my shirt and we had left for the day.

There will be dirt

Both of our children love to go to the park.  More Mojo isn’t too secure in walking on uneven surfaces and can’t walk over obstacles yet.  Because of these things he falls down quite often, usually standing up with piece of mulch somewhere on his upper body.

I notice that the moms at the park brush their children off immediately and see if they’re OK.  Whenever I’m there with another dad he tends to act the same way that I do.  As long as there’s no blood or copious amounts of tears I stay back and let my child wipe himself down.

Yes, moms and dads both have disgusting tendencies.  Hopefully we do it during the daily care of our children, or can at least shift the blame that direction.  \

Do tell, is there something disgusting that you’ve done in the daily care of your kids that would make your pre-child self scream?

*Dad blog rule 107: thou shalt mention a child hitting your groin at least once every five posts.