Children are resilient, bouncy creatures covered in fleshy skin. It’s probable that at some point during your parenting adventures they’ll have an accident or do something to warrant their first trip to the ER. That happened to us-everyone is OK, just a boo boo, but it’s a bigger than average boo boo on his chin that required 6 stitches.
Any story that starts out with, “I just turned my back for a minute…” can’t have a good ending. In my case I just turned my back for: 45 when I took More Mojo inside so that he could nap in the playpen. During that time 3 YO Mojo had hopped on his tricycle and pointed it down the driveway towards the cul-de-sac.
I came back outside (a mere :45) later, asked for him and heard crying just behind the mailbox-in the cul-de-sac. That couldn’t be him, he’s in the garden-and how could he get there that quickly? For a millisecond I was confused, ‘what the F is he doing down there?’ I came to my senses as I was running down to get him.
He was scrapped up and had skinned his chin on the pavement. His shirt was a bloody mess and crying hysterically, but his first words were “I’m sorry daddy”. After calling his pediatrician, I realized that he needed to visit Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, our local ER for children.
15 minutes after his accident he was mentally OK. His bottom lip was still shaking, but the bleeding had stopped and we were on the way to CHOA. During this time I cursed myself, felt immense waves of guilt, wondered how I could be so stupid to leave the tricycle outside with him and just wanted a time machine to go back 20 minutes to avoid the entire situation.
By the time we arrived at CHOA he was calm, happy and eager to meet daddy’s ‘friend’. He was happy looking at the Christmas tree and reading the book on farm animals that was in the lobby. Both of the boys had a handful of crackers and I was more of a wreck than the one who was injured or the one who hadn’t napped.
3 YO Mojo was a trooper during the stitches. He made jokes about his grandfather, laughed about the hamburgers we were going to eat and the tickling sensation he was feeling. More Mojo was even laughing and clapping his hand in unison to the cartoon that was on TV. Me, I had to sit down as the sight of looking at him getting stitches was making me woozy.
By the end of the day I was exhausted and learned some hard lessons about the peaks and valleys of parenting.
Forgive Yourself
Even if something is your fault you can not dwell on it. You must forgive yourself because you are the parent. The child will not switch identities with you no matter how many times you’ve seen Freaky Friday. Accept what happened, learn from it and move on.
Don’t blame
It was my fault it happened. I left the bike/glass/chair/appliance and then they picked/slipped/fell and cut/bruised or whatever. Do not play this mind game with yourself because you will always lose.
For the Spouse
Shout out to my wife who handled it 100% correctly. She could tell the guilt that was in my voice and told me to cut that crap out. If something happens do not blame the spouse because that guilt will fester and make them question every parenting decision from here out.
Thing happen
It’s not bad karma because you did something to someone. It happened, things happen. If you really want to ensure that what happened, doesn’t happen again, then learn hard from the experience and do your best not to allow it to happen again. In some cases, that is just not possible because your child has a mind of their own and will do things.
Be the best you can be. You can’t control everything and no parent is perfect, no matter how much they may appear to be.
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Props for the advice, Mojo.
When we were young, we were all up in a tree. My younger brother went for a small branch that broke and he fell 21 feet down (measured later by he and dad), landing flat on his front. Broke his arm, gravel embedded in his cheek, it was a nightmare for my mother at the time.
With a little boy who has always been our “extreme sports baby” as labeled by The Wife, I’m just waiting for my day.
All my best to 3YO Mojo.
Jason
The Cheeky Daddy
Oh my. Yeah, I know that kids will always do dangerous things-or just make mistakes. It’s a hard lesson learned that will most likely be repeated. I was in the hospital twice as a kid, once for a sledding accident and the other for a (shocking) bike accident.
I’m the mom of three boys. In less than a week’s time we were in the ER 3 times. Twice in one day for my 4 year old who got stitches in the morning and busted them before bedtime.
Even when you watch them all the time, it happens. My boys can’t seem to avoid it. Boys are full of energy. I can tell with my 6 year old as soon as I hear the cry if it’s going to be an ER visit. Thankfully, he is braver than me. I always turn away from where the doctor is working while trying to still look my little boy in the face.
It never gets easier because we never want to see our kids in pain but I will leave you with these words a nurse said to me….if the kids aren’t getting banged up every once in a while that’s when you are doing something wrong. Kids need to get out there and explore life and sometimes that means they will get hurt.
Good luck.