Pregnancy week 36-be cool dads, only a couple weeks left

Whenever I’m about to go through something long or painful I imagine myself after that event happens and what I’ll be doing.  That allows me to imagine myself after a dentist appointment, drive to the beach or conversation with my wife.

Start making the mix tape

The mix tape can also be called the ‘push tape’.    Dads can go back to their pre married days when they used to make mix tapes for girls.  These tapes were an expression of your musical independence to demonstrate to them that you’re more than just a collection of 80’s hair metal.

This mix tap, which is actually a mix playlist for the MP3 player, is more like what you’re real playlist was back in the day.  Think of any song that you might hear at a sporting event for a couple of seconds before the game starts again.  Twisted Sister, Journey, AC/DC, Survivor, Ratt, Dokken or anything else with long haired men wearing spandex is probably OK.

For our first birth the MP3 player was hooked up to a pair of small speakers during active labor.  I would play a couple seconds of a song with a strong introduction during the contraction.  In-between contractions I would take requests from a red faced, sweaty, out-of-breath wife who wanted to hear lots of AC/DC.  It’s like I was at a hockey game for two in the hospital and the puck was an eight pound boy who needed a larger net.

Start the mix playlist now.  Work as a team so that it’s her playlist and isn’t just Master of Puppets in its entirety.  If that is your wife’s mix then she is very, very cool.

Ask nothing controversial

There are lots of emotions and hormones zipping around that pregnant woman.  You know the times or topics that may set off your bride like a bowl of ice cream in the desert.    In normal, non-pregnant times it may be entertaining to engage your wife with spirited debates about politics or the best Journey LP.  Pregnancy, however, is not the time to have these conversations.

You know that feeling when you see the most inane, senseless post on Facebook?  It’s a comment from a friend or outlet that’s full of know-nothing, incorrect facts that you could beat down like a Whack a Mole. You could beat down the comment, but that would only encourage the troll and give that insipid comment a longer lifespan online.

The filter that made you not comment to troll comments needs to be applied during conversations with your pregnant bride.     Don’t make idle comments about news stories.  Don’t purchase any potentially annoying toys that your toddler may love.  Just stick to what you know she likes and play that handbook for the next four weeks.