In a stereotypical situation the mom takes care of the kids, goes shopping, does some errands and cooks. In those situations the ideal gift for Mother’s Day is a day at the spa or time away from the family. This would leave the father in charge of the family where it’s presumed that the house would implode, the hot water heater would burst; no diapers would be changed and if they were it would result in the babies poop ending up on dad’s face.
But what if you’re not the stereotypical family? You are one of those stay at home dads with a fabulous wife who goes out and brings home the bacon. As any stay at home dad can let you know, it’s not really like that when the other parent takes over. So what should a stay at home dad do for Mother’s Day?
Is it a day off to lie around and watch G4, Bruce Lee, use the hammer drill on some unsuspecting tree or other manly projects? Well, first off, you should never use the hammer drill on a tree and secondly it depends on your situation.
A mother is not just a mother because of what they do during the week. A mother is always a mother, just as a father is always a father. Even when my wife is at work she is a great mother, just as the fathers at work are great fathers.
Mother’s Day to a stay at home dad is not like Freaky Friday or some role switching comedy. In our specific situation my wife takes Toddler Mojo on the weekends, does a great job and can’t spend enough time with him. During that time I do stuff around the house, relax a little bit or get caught up on work. So even though I’m not doing my normal Monday to Friday work with Toddler Mojo, I can make some progress with paid work and house projects.
If it’s a special weekend or trip to a park then we’ll schedule that in and I know that some aspect of my ‘time off’ will be spent with the family. Squeezing the balloon I call it, the time is static, but we’ll just spend more time of it here as opposed to there. In reality, that’s win/win. It is family bonding with my wife and son and it’s relaxing so all of the goals are accomplished.
For Mother’s Day this year we’re going out to eat with the family. My wife knows that I can use some down time this weekend and I’ll get it at some point in time. The stay at home parent loves the family, but they do need some alone time with Bruce Lee, G4 or a large stack of comic books. I suspect that the Mother’s Day plans for the rest of the stay at home dads are similar, except for the Bruce Lee part. Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms!
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Do you do anything different on Father’s Day?
That thought is in limbo now. It looks like we’ll do some yard work, maybe grill out. What are your plans for Father’s Day?
I like the change to the site. Looks good…’poop culture’…good one!
Thanks Chopper. The back end is new and challenging too. oy.
I became a stay-at-home Dad for my two children because the mother (ex-wife now) is ADHD, BiPolar, Borderline. This was undiagnosed at the time. I simply did what had to be done starting 3 weeks after my youngest was born. The kid’s expression “Mom.. err.. Dad” became contracted to the term of endearment “MomDad”.
Mother’s Day, yes I do recall that issue. Lots & lots of cards filled with stereotypical garbage about “nurturing” & “understanding” & “unconditional love” none of which applied in any way shape or form to the female refrigerator monster who gave birth & walked away.
These days, now more than a decade & a half later, my kids CALL ME. Just to talk, usually because the woman isn’t home, her neglect is ongoing. What to do?
Father’s Day – I would have a few beers & BBQ a steak.
Mother’s Day – I would have one beer & bake some cookies.
These days, I count my blessings that 17 years of hell are over. My children both call me on Mother’s Day because they recognize the parental roles (2) were done by one person.
Alas we totally understand that word combo. Our Mother’s Day turned into Mom on the sofa and dad doing the child work, but Mom is also pregnant. Our Father’s Day should morph into something along the same lines, being that Mom will be 5.5 months pregnant. Grand work on the two children Dad!