A dad and the communication stages of the Toddler

The 17 month old toddler is a magical, highly excitable creature that still has trouble communicating to mom and dad.  While the toddler’s point gets made, it lacks a certain finesse.  In observing our toddler we’ve determined that a 17 month old has three forms of verbal communication: Chinese Baby, Bobcat Goldwaite and The Singing Frog,

Chinese Baby

I love the feeling of being in a foreign country and not understanding what people are saying around me.  Sometimes it’s like that being a stay at home dad to a toddler.  The first sounds that he picked up were all consonants that I heard during the countless hours I’ve spent watching kung fu.

“Shung pa,chi”. That probably doesn’t mean anything in Chinese, but it sounds like what comes out of my son’s mouth on a daily basis.  Granted it’s possible that he learned advanced Chinese during his time in eutero, but that would also mean that I’m a sea horse.

Bobcat Goldwaite

Is he being funny, yelling or having a seizure?  Any of those statements are what people who see Bobcat Goldwaite may say.  Bobcat’s communication style is part screaming, yelling, a short pause to set up the joke and then more yelling for the punch line; having said that, he’s also very funny.

A toddler talking to you is like that, except you can’t understand them.  However, similar to Bobcat, toddlers are very funny doing this style of communication.  They’re funny until they get frustrated, then toddler Bobcat turns into toddler Sam Kinnison, and that style of communication is just not appropriate for kids.

Sometimes we get a combination of the Chinese Baby and Bobcat Goldwaite.  Loud, unintelligible, consonants, mixed in with exclamation points and the occasional word that you can understand.  “Sur te PU luHHR Car” is something that only a Chinese toddler who grew up watching Bobcat Goldwaite comedy routines in eutero can understand.

The singing frog

The Singing Frog is more of a metaphor than a toddler communication style.  Remember the classic Warner Bros cartoon, starring Michigan J. Frog, otherwise known as the singing frog?

It’s a metaphor for things that happen one instance and don’t happen at another time.  Our toddler was eating dinner the other day and I heard a yelp from my wife, who was feeding him.  I was on the computer watching Chinese babies impersonate Sam Kinnison and came running into the kitchen.

“He just said ‘car’” my wife said.  She urged him to say it again, but all that we got after that was “Ca”, which requires a little work from the Rosetta stone in order to get “Car”.    Our toddler has done that at other times, seemingly just to frustrate either mom or dad.

Saying ‘dad’ when mom is around or only saying ‘mom’ when dad is around is another popular game that they must teach toddlers at their monthly meeting.  At this meeting they probably have round, plastic furniture, some Matchbox cars and Barbie dolls before the talking train calls the meeting to order.   All of the toddlers then gather around for the latest news, except for the Chinese toddlers who are in the other room watching Police Academy.