A Dad gets Mommyitis

The other week my wife went to the chiropractor and was told that she has a case of “mommyitis”.  A quick search of our friend the internet will tell you that it’s defined as having a child with separation anxiety.  Alas, our doctor must not have gotten that memo because their definition was a pain in the elbow or triceps, caused by picking up a baby.

The doctor told my wife to stretch her arm, which she promptly told me to do to her.  I gladly agreed because I knew that my larger and stronger man arms could lift our child without any worries.  One week after her stretching routine my right tricep starts to burn.  Then the next week my left tricep starts to ache, burn and feel like I had gone through a brutal workout.

Unfortunately I hadn’t worked out.  To make matters worse, my lats, apparently feeling neglected from the pain that my arms were experiencing, now joined in.  Curse the aged, this dad has mommyitis.    It’s a continuous pain that starts in the elbow and goes up through the tricep.  The pain in my elbow and back are exacerbated when I raise my arms or get dressed.

I’ve never had tennis elbow, but I imagine this is what it feels like.  Either way, tennis elbow or mommyitis I wish I could assign my arm and back pain to a more manly cause.    Changing out a transmission, chopping down trees or fighting fires would all be nice alternate stories for me to blame the pain that vexes me now.

However, I’m game with playing the dice that I cast.  So now I’m stretching in lots of tennis oriented ways that I found on the internet. The doctor that my wife went to also said that stretching was the best way to deal with the ever increasing live weight that stay at home dads have to wrangle.

I may just send a quick press release to our doctor friends requesting that they refer to this condition as something a bit more manly for the stay at home dads.  “Growing Early Toddlers Do Advance Diligently as Babies Extend Elbows Responsibility” or GETDADABEER .