My marriage is not like an 8 track: New families and the stay at home dad

This past week a study came out on marriage from The Pew Research center.  You may have heard the highlights, mainly the fact that MARRIAGE IS ON THE DECLINE.  Well make me watch television infomercials, I thought my marriage was great and if the masses are getting out of this mom and dad racket then I’m not going to let the violin player beat me off this sinking ship.
Well, before I freak out about the status of my marriage and what to do with the dogs, cats and Baby Mojo, let me read this survey.  

Yikes, the headlines that I heard on the news are correct: NEARLY 4 IN 10 SAY THAT MARRIAGE IS BECOMING OBSOLETE.  Pack it in moms and dads, this racket that we set up as a tax shelter is over, the gig is up. 

However, as with any survey, it’s full of wonky descriptions, multiple phrasings of the questions and bullet points.

• I love bullet points

Obsolete is a funny, clinical survey term.  When is the last time, before this survey and your discussion about those Statler Brothers 8 Track tapes that you used that word?  Yeah, it’s been a while since we used that word too and, proper respect to The Statler Brothers, your music didn’t die with the 8-track, it just switched formats.

Marriage hasn’t changed too much; however, the environment around us has changed dramatically.  If you communicate consistently and be entirely open with our spouse, then your marriage will be fine.  Don’t The Statler Brothers Brothers sound better on CD or iTunes?  Then your marriage will be fine in the era of the internet too.

If you dig down into the survey you’ll also find that people who are married are HAPPIER.   Fancy that, the 6 out of 10 who don’t think marriage is obsolete are actually happier than the wet blankets in the corner still moaning about the cancellation of Rubicon.

Also in the survey, 62% endorsed dual income families who share house work and caring for the children.  67% also stated that it was important for men to be able to be the breadwinner, so the stay at home dad, while increasing has a ways to go before Pew does a survey on us.  There was also a skyrocketing increase of 72% in the number of unmarried women giving birth, especially amongst black women. 

An important take away from this is that marriage and family is not where fun goes to die.  It’s the start of something wonderful and fun, but does take lots of work.