A dad and mom play “did somebody step on a duck”?

As a stay at home dad I encounter lots of funny situations with my child.  Toilet jokes are the low hanging fruit in the blog world.  I made a pact with myself to avoid stories about the toilet, a moratorium if you will, for as long as possible.  I’m sure that when Baby Mojo gets to the potty training phase of life we’ll have more stories, some of which may actually be funny. 

 Speaking in a very technical sense, it’s not a story of the toilet, more accurately it’s a case of “did somebody step on a duck”?  In some cases you dads may have grown up to the story of, “is that a duck in here”?  Either story is applicable and will make young boys think their father is cool for the first two times.  After that, much like a real duck, the quip starts to molt and stink up the room.

 The twist to the classic tale is that it involved my wife, an eating Baby Mojo and me, in the kitchen.  As the truth is often funnier than anything people can write I’ll spell in out a la Broadway.  The dialogue is 100% accurate, although I may have taken some liberties with the male character description.

 Scene:  A brooding male, with a head full of hair, stands in the kitchen drinking an imported beer while talking to his winsome wife.  The male has a thoughtful look about him as he looks down at his 14 month old son eating fruit and vegetables.   The wife looks at the male and through her pouty lips start to speak.

 Wife:  Sweetie, ewww

Male:  What?

Wife:  Ewww

Male:  Oh, that?  You don’t think it was me?  Really?  You must be joking.

Wife:  Hmmmm

Male:  It was him (pointing to the toddler, who is looking at the picture version of Atlas Shrugged)

Wife:  Really?

Male:  Yup.

Wife:  There are three people in here and

(Phhhhht…) cue sound effects coming from the toddler

Male:  See, it was him!

Wife:  Well, I know it was coming from that side of the room.  (pointing away from her)

Male:  Yeah, well.

(cue sound effects again from the toddler)

Male:  Ha, Ha.  I told you it wasn’t me.

Fin

With apologies to Rodney Dangerfield, the baby stepped on a duck.  Unfortunately for everybody involved in this story the ‘duck’ appeared many times that night, forcing a certain toddler to go ‘commando’ until the rash cleared up.