I’m keeping tabs on my neighbors

Even before I was a stay at home dad my ability to remember names in a timely manner left lots to be desired.   At previous jobs and social gatherings there were people who I genuinely wanted to know, but couldn’t remember their names.  I’ve tried mnemonic devices, like associating somebody with an action or thing that will trigger their name with something.  They do work occasionally, but then I have to remember somebody else’s name and the whole process gets gummed up inside my head. 

So now I’m a stay at home dad and instead of people that I have to like due to a work environment, its people I need to know because of a common interest, our children.  For months I’ve joked and put off that I should make a map of our neighborhood, with all of the residents, children and pets.   Recently I was laid up and couldn’t take care of Baby Mojo.

During that time my wife did the rounds and would come home commenting how nice so and so was, how their children loved to play with Baby Mojo and did you know they had a child who is his exact age?  It was like having a secret shopper in my department and their report on the staff didn’t come back with gold stars and superlatives. 

No, I didn’t know they had a child who is the same age as ours.  How did you learn all of their names that quickly and there’s a play group that meets every afternoon at 4?  WTF?

I knew some of the names that my better half was throwing at me, but the overall report, although startling, was good to hear.  My strong suit has always been the art of the quip, fast statements that get in and out.  I’m also good with social mixers, business lunches and can relate very well with animals.  However, since I’m not raising a dog-boy and Alex Keaton is a fictional character, I better get to grips with my neighborhood mommy names stat.

So I drew up a map of our neighborhood with all of the houses, people that live there, as well as, any pets they may have.  The relationship between stay at home dads and stay at home moms can be weird.  It’s almost like you need the wives to bond first, then the SAHD can jump in for all the weekday play groups.  That relationship is really tough to navigate and I suspect that most dads have this issue too.  If not, then it’s all me and I should be raising a pack of feral dog-boys or calling Justine Bateman about a reboot of Family Ties.  (ps, if it’s the later, call me Justine, I’m available…)

Now I look at my crudely drawn map a couple times a day, just to get familiar with the families, kids and dogs that live there.  It’s kind of like The Rear Window, except it’s a sheet of paper that I’m looking at through my front window with all of our neighbors’ names on it.