Daddy Mojo gets a hernia

This blog post is brought to you by the word “Pain”.

Nine years ago I was single with no children and had a hernia which caused me inconvenience and discomfort.  A couple weeks ago I noticed a bulge in my lower stomach and suspected that my old friend was rearing its’ head again.  Then, the bulge disappeared overnight.  Ha, ha sucker fake hernia I’m better than you! 

Alas, the next day the bulge appeared again, bringing along their friends – hurt and grimace.   After a couple doctor visits it was confirmed that I had at least one hernia.  Being a stay at home dad my daytime obligations were much more involved this time.  How do I feed, bathe, run errands or do anything involving the care of this 25 pound toddler?

My wife and I did lots of research about stay at home parents who had a hernia and no results popped up.  There were many stories about adults or children with hernias, but none about how an active parent deals with hernia recovery, which was our greatest concern. 

Guys, especially stay at home dads may want to hear about what to expect from a hernia, from diagnosis to recovery.    For now though, we’ll touch on some key things that mom and dad learned about childcare during the time of a hernia.

The Childcare

My wife and in-laws rock.  Prior to entering the hospital my wife had arranged her work schedule and lined up my mother and sister in law to help care for Baby Mojo.   The first two days after surgery I was on the sofa.  My mind’s eye vision of watching all the movies I wanted to, while eating popcorn and live tweeting the experience were just a dream.  It was a struggle to walk to the bathroom, much less sit up and enjoy the quiet time. 

My wife did take off a couple days prior to surgery and was prepared to use all of her vacation if family wasn’t able to come in and assist.  

 The Recovery

I’m strong like bull, have a quick metabolism and will recover quickly.  That’s what I was thinking, but it was again, just a dream.  The surgeon said that it will take multiple weeks to recover and they meant it. 

 The Hospital

Anytime you enter the hospital, even for a relatively common procedure you have thoughts about your mortality.  Once I was checked in and given the I.V, they wheeled me down to the surgical prep area.  I remember looking at the ceiling and wondering what would happen if I died, then I immediately started playing the video to The Final Countdown in my head. 

Oh, that would be awful.  A.  To die from hernia surgery and B. For my final thought not to be of my wife or child.  I then imagined that I met my wife in heaven and she asked me what my final thoughts were before I went into that fatal surgery.   Yeah, that was an awkward conversation, good thing we were in heaven with all those unicorns and dough nut trees.

Either I like 80’s metal far too much, or my subconscious was trying to give me some motivational music to go into surgery with.  Then I started thinking what if it’s THE Final countdown?  I wonder if they play Europe in heaven.  They better play The Final Countdown in heaven; otherwise I know that I’m in the wrong place or led my life a bit worse than I actually did.